Archive for the 'Psychologists Lair' Category

Manage Depression in 5 Easy to Follow Steps

Being lonely or sad can be a normal part of our lives from
time to time. We get sad when we fail our exams, when
we’re rejected by the person we love, or when someone
very close to us dies. Depression, however, can be much
more serious than just plain loneliness. It could lead to
life-long consequences that could destroy your self-esteem,
health, and well-being.

Here are some excellent tips to conquer the despondent mood
and get the most joy out of your daily activities.

1) Get Enough Light and Sunshine.

Lack of exposure to sunlight is responsible for your
body’s secretion of the hormone melatonin, which could trigger
a dispirited mood and a lethargic condition.

Melatonin is only produced in the dark. It lowers the
body temperature and makes you feel sluggish. If you
are always cooped up in your room (with the curtains
closed), it would be difficult to restrain yourself
from staying in bed.

This is the reason why many people are suffering from
depression much more often in winter than in the other
seasons. It’s because the nights are longer, there are more
dreary weather days, and we sometimes go several days
without seeing the sun.

If you can’t afford to get some sunshine, you can
always lighten up your room with brighter lights.
Have lunch outside the office. Take frequent walks
instead of driving your car over short distances.

2) Get Busy. Get Inspired.

You’ll be more likely to overcome any feeling of
depression if you are too busy to notice it. Live
a life full of inspired activities.

Do the things you love. If you’re a little short
on cash, you could do simple things like
taking a stroll in the park, participating in your favorite
sports, reading books, or engaging in any activity
that you have passion for and would love to pursue.

Set a goal - a meaningful purpose in life. No
matter how difficult or discouraging life can be,
remain firm and have an unshakable belief that you
are capable of doing anything you desire. With
this kind of positive attitude, you will attain
a cheerful disposition to beat the blues.

3) Take a Break.

Relax. Listen to soothing music. Soak in a nice warm
bath. Ask one of your close friends to massage
you. Take a break from your stressful workload
and spend the day just goofing around. In other
words, have some fun.

4) Eat Right and Exercise.

Avoid foods with lots of sugar, caffeine, or
alcohol. Sugar and caffeine may give you a
temporary burst of energy; but they later
bring about anxiety, tension, and other
problems. Alcohol is a depressant. Many people
drink alcohol to “forget their problems.” Again, this is just
a temporary fix. Many times when the “high” wears off,
you’ll feel even worse.

Exercising regularly is a very important depression beater
because it allows your body to produce more
endorphins than usual. Endorphins are sometimes
called “the happy chemicals” because of their
stress-reducing and happiness-inducing properties.

5) Get a Social Life.

Your circle of friends are there to give you moral
support. Spending time and engaging in activities with them
will give you a very satisfying feeling. Nothing
feels better than having group support.

Never underestimate the power of touch. Doesn’t
it feel so good when someone pats you on the back
and gives you words of encouragement during your
most challenging times? Hug or embrace someone
today. You’ll never know when you have saved
another life.

Get intimate. Establish close ties with your
family and friends. The love and care expressed
by others could tremendously boost your immune
system and fend off illnesses. Best of all, you’ll
live a more secured and happy life.

These are just 5 simple ways to help you or someone
you love battle depression. For more information on
how to conquer depression once and for all, visit
http://www.helpyouneednow.com/products/depression/help.html.

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Suicide in the Church, Part 3

Suicide strikes…AGAIN!

This may wind up being the most important article some have ever read. I hope it will not only help a few readers, but that it will open the eyes of others, aiding in their understanding, motivating them to help. I trust there will be those who will actually clip it, mailing it to someone for whom they are concerned, or posting it in the breakroom.

I’ve written quite a bit about suicide over the past few weeks and have received some remarkable feedback. I wrote on the subject because there have been so many suicides lately and folks wanted answers. If you’ve read any of the previous articles, you’ve seen some frightening statistics. This subject remains heavy on my heart and continues to be a concern to many.
For me, it started when a man with whom a dear friend had been interacting was found in his jail cell with a cable TV wire around his neck. Then, another friend who led a Bible study took his own life. Within days, this was followed by the suicide of another man who, along with his spouse, had prayed with and comforted the previous friend’s wife.

Saturday, I officiated a wedding 2 hours away. Incredibly, on Sunday, the father of the bride took his own life.

My mind is reeling as I write.

Suicide has a frightening air of finality. Filled with hopelessness, despair, and tragedy, it’s a word we like to keep at arms’ length. As a whole, society tends to look down its nose at anyone who would commit this gruesome act. We call them selfish, cowardly…I must admit, after seeing that beautiful young bride and her dashing husband on Saturday, preparing to begin their lives together, if her father were standing alive before me now, I’d have a hard time refraining from beating the thunder out of him. How could he do that to his precious daughter?

But I recall the day, about 15 years ago, that suicide entered my thoughts in a different way. I had just lost my job with a Dallas ad agency and my wife had left me, taking our kids with her. For the first time in my life, I was all alone on a Thanksgiving, too broke to join any family gatherings taking place across the country. Our church friends had quickly chosen sides and had shunned yours truly. It was Thanksgiving Eve, sleeting and raining, about 16 below zero with the wind chill. I was sleeping on a mattress on the floor of a mobile home, my entire world seemingly in shambles all around me. I remember waking up to the whirring sound of ball bearings rolling around in the furnace which was now spewing forth cold air. I was dizzy, disoriented, freezing to death in my sleep, I believe. Taking my own life with the razor sharp meat clever in the kitchen was the most natural thought in the world to me. I formulated a plan to slit my wrists, crawl back onto my mattress, and let them find me in the spring. Truly, I was experiencing the darkest hour of my soul.

But God stepped in. The atmosphere became charged as it does when a frisky puppy runs into a room or a bunch of children run through an open screen door to get a drink from the kitchen sink on a hot summer day. “Joy will come in the morning” suddenly echoed through my mind. I bundled up and made it through the night, only to be awakened next day by a startling crash as a sheet of ice melted and slid off the metal roof onto the frozen ground. I looked outside and the sun was glistening off the melting ice everywhere.

Life got gradually better. Incredibly better. Today, I wouldn’t trade mine for all the world.

Truth is, I discovered another option to suicide. I found it in the Bible, God’s love letter to mankind. You know…that perennially best-selling book most Christians rarely read? The good news about the current state of depression some may be feeling at this moment, is that God really DOES have a plan for your life - a plan that can only be fulfilled when we give everything over to Him. Listen, there IS a purpose for your life; a reason for your existence. Your current, dismal, emotional and spiritual state may be the very springboard you need for discovering just how valuable you are to Him, how your life can be transformed, and how others can be rescued by YOU.
Tough times do NOT last. Tough people DO!

Perhaps you’ve asked yourself, “How did I get to this point?” The answer? Gradually, just as drops of water will slowly but surley fill a bucket. Everyone goes through periods in their lives when they feel down. In time, sadness leaves and life goes on. There are instances, however, when tough times, a strained relationship or some other problem, leads to unhappiness that keeps us in bondage. When that happens, life can become a daily struggle with uneasiness, gloom, and emptiness. Ultimately, hopelessness can take hold, creating a feeling of dissatisfaction with everything.

Depression is often associated with a sense of loss that can come with illness, the death of a loved one, sudden unemployment, divorce, and so on. A chronic illness, or permanent disability, can rob one’s independence, making them feel worthless, helpless, and angry. Losing someone you care about, through death or divorce, can leave a tremendous void.

Guilt is another trigger for depression. Perhaps you’re struggling with substance abuse or another addiction or have made some really bad choices that you’re ashamed of that are about to be revealed. A childhood trauma may have left you feeling damaged and unworthy of God’s love and acceptance. Maybe you feel like a failure because you haven’t achieved all that you wanted in life.

Whatever the cause, depression often leads to a sense of hopelessness. You may feel as though you’re at the end of your rope. You may think that ending your life is the only way to take control.

Trust me, it’s not.

What’s next?
The answer is simple. REALLY simple. You can go on with life as usual, knowing where that may lead, or you can get a life. I’m talkin’ REAL life. For some, the fact that you’re still reading this shows that you desire another option. So, here’s my answer. Ready? It’s my experience that there is only one real source of hope for a life of purpose, fulfillment, and joy.

That source has a name…it’s Jesus Christ.

It is my firm contention that Jesus is the answer to every problem known to mankind. To those who are still with me, that’s either absolute truth or it’s a lie. He said about His followers, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). If that statement is true, logic screams for us to quickly become His followers. We must address the question, “If I’m not living real life, what is THIS?” Through a REAL, experiential relationship with Jesus Christ, overflowing love, forgiveness, peace, and joy can be ours. Interested? That’s a promise from God found in the Bible.

And God doesn’t lie.

Sadly, far too often, even Christians settle for Religion and Church attendance over a relationship with the Creator through Christ’s teachings found in Scripture.

The How-to’s of Overcoming

I failed to mention that all the recent local suicides have been committed by professing Christians. Did Jesus promise His followers a problem-free life on Earth? No. He actually said, “In this life, you will have many troubles….” He DID promise the power to face life’s trials with confidence, knowing that He will cause ALL things to work for our good.

By the way, the Greek word for “all” means ALL!

He promised either to deliver us from afflictions, or provide the strength to endure them, according to His plan for us. Here’s the catch: to set that plan in motion requires giving our lives to Him.

As Bob Dylan sang, “We’re gonna serve somebody.” Even the atheist serves himself, enthroning himself as “lord” of his own life. By placing Jesus Christ on the throne of our lives, spiritually, we become what the Bible calls “born again” and we’re completely transformed as we renew our minds. According to the Scriptures, that same Spirit that raised Jesus from the dead dwells within us, His followers. Again, this has been my expereince and, I contend, the very answer that someone somewhere is needing. Your reading of this now is no accident.

Dust off that old Bible and look up the following verses: John 1:12; II Corinthians 5:17;I Corinthians 2:12; I John 5:11-13.

Jesus said, “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me” (Revelation 3:20). He’s knocking right now. Open the door.

Three Keys to Vicorious Living

1) Talk to God. We call it “prayer” but it’s merely conversation with God. TWO-WAY conversation at that. So, be quiet and listen sometimes.

2) Begin reading the Bible. Get to know the Personality of the one who made came up with all those Precepts for living life with Power. You’ll find He’s the kindest person you’ll ever meet. Talk with Him as if He were your best friend.
He IS!

3) Make yourself accountable to those who are living the Christian life successfully. Like all babies, even baby Chrsitians should aspire to GROW to maturity. In a nutshell, we become that with which we surround ourselves. Surround yourselves with godly people and godly input.

What if You’re Already a Christian?

First, ask yourself if you really ARE a Christian. The word ‘Christian’ translates as “Little Christs.” Galatians 5:22 tells us what the fruits of the Spirit are, the evidence that God’s Spirit resides in us. Too many people believe themselves to be Christians simply because they believe in God. Scripture declares that “even the devil believes, and he trembles.” Truth is, unless we spend time with Him, how can we know Him at all? What relationship works like that? Logically speaking, Church attendence doesn’t make one a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s makes one a cheeseburger. Besides, Church is something we ARE 24/7 (meaning: “the called out ones”); it’s not merely someplace we GO.

To those who DO have a relationship with God, the enemy of our souls can cause any of us to feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts in a moment of weakness. So might a chemical imbalance. It can happen for all of the same reasons mentioned above. The trials of life touch everyone, including Believers in Jesus.

If the situation you are in is something you can’t change, know that God’s the Inventor of Divine Intervention. As hard as it may be to do, continue praying for His help and covet the prayers of other victorious Christians. Don’t stop. He does hear our prayers, but His perfect plan and ours aren’t always the same. Trust Him to respond in a way that will be to your best interest. That includes the possibility that He will give you strength and peace to endure your trial rather than deliver you from it. He’s so much more concerned about our character than our comfort. His number one goal is to conform us to the image of Christ who, Scripture tells us, was Himself sent by the Holy Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil (Jesus is truly our example in EVERY way). Some of God’s greatest answers to prayer come in the form of peace and joy in the midst of great hardship. You can believe that He will see you through every storm in your life.

Along those lines, take a look at these verses: Psalm 23; Psalm 28:7; Isaiah 43:2; Romans 8:28; Philippians 4:13.

We are spirit-beings having an earthly experience. As such, you must ask God to fill you with His Spirit to help you tackle life by His power. Scripture declares, “You will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes upon you.” The Bible is full of God’s promises to love, strengthen, heal, and guide.

The Purpose-Driven Life is a Top-Selling book these days. Begin reading God’s Word in a Purpose-Driven manner: to discover new insights about His love for you. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide your journey and to reveal truths you’ve never seen before. He’s the consummate teacher, after all. Accept the fact of God’s love for you by faith, NOT by feelings.

Look at these verses and receive them from God directly to you: John 3:16; Romans 5:8; Isaiah 40:31; Isaiah 41:10; Lamentations 3:22-23.

Today’s culture detests any mention of this word, but here goes: SIN. If you want to walk in victory, acknowledge any sin that might be interfering in your relationship with God. Ask Him to search your heart and pinpoint any problems. Then, confess and repent of your disobedience and receive his forgiveness. Confess means “to agree” and repent means “to change your mind.”

Here are some verses for dealing with sin: I John 1:9; Psalm 139:23-24; Galatians 5:16-25.

Help Yourself to some help!

As part of the Body of Christ, you may wish to consult help from other Body Parts. Professional help in the form of a qualified Christian counselor has proven to be one of the best ways to fight depression and thoughts of suicide. Look in the phone book and make some calls. Ask for references. A good pastoral counselor can help you get a new perspective on your problems. Get a medical check-up. Sometimes depression is caused by a chemical imbalance or other biological factor.

Seek out a support group made of like-minded believers that can minister to the area of difficulty in your life. Interacting with others who are facing similar challenges will help you feel less isolated.

Force yourself to do something the next time you feel down. Inactivity only makes depression worse. Here are some things to try:

Talk it out. Call a friend and open up.

Take a hike. Exercise causes blood and oxygen to circulate faster, which invigorates us. The brain produces endorphins that fight depression.

Help someone else. As you focus your attention on someone else, your own cares will become less burdensome. I often refer people to watch “Patch Adams” with Robin Williams, then report to me on their findings. Don’t judge me on that; lives have been saved. God can use anything.

Listen to uplifting music. Choose your favorite songs and start jammin’!

Here’s the good news: Whatever you’re struggling with at the moment, this too shall pass. Whatever it is you’re going through, you WILL go through it. Though things may actually get worse before they get better, they WILL get better as you place them in God’s hands. Yes, we reap as we sow and there may be some really tough consequences forthcoming to deal with.
But whatever you do, deal with it!

Remember, “All things work together for good for those who love God and have been called according to His purpose.” Translation? God takes care of the lives of those who turn their lives over to Him.

Resist any thoughts you may be having about “ending it all.” God has the uncanny ability of taking that which seems really bad and making things turn out really good.

If you’d like to subscribe and receive more of pastor Michael’s articles by eMail, simply write team1min@aol.com and type SUBSCRIBE in the SUBJECT bar. Or, keep returning to these Ezinearticles.com.

Pastor Michael has been broadcasting messages of Discipleship & Encouragement to the Body of Christ by email since 1999. Since then these messages have been published on numerous other sites, reprinted in paper newsletters belonging to other ministries, have been used as a source of teaching and preaching by ministers and Bible teachers worldwide, and have ministered to the Body of Christ of nearly every major denomination.

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Christmas Meltdowns

Well, it’s December 1st and I just had my first one. I’ve
started playing Christmas Carols and was fine until I head the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir and NY Philharmonic do “Once in Royal
David’s City.”

My 21 year old son died several years ago. When he was little,
and looked like a Boticelli cherub, and the voice of surely an
Italian angelo, he sang in the Boys’ Choir. One year, they gave
a Christmas concert in the Chapel at Trinity University, and
came in singing “Once in Royal David’s City,” as the
processional.

Ok. So, first meltdown over.

The next one is likely to be around “Hallelujah Chorus.” I love
the pomp and circumstance, love Handel, love that you stand when
it plays, and I have two memories around it. One, when my Dad
was dying, we sat together in the living room and he, with his
formerly operatic bass voice, stood, when he could hardly sit,
and sang along with it. And then, we played it at the beginning
of my son’s Memorial Service.

There will be other meltdowns.

Have you had your first one yet? Or 3rd, 10th, or 20th? Or have
you shut down, behaving like a Scrooge, because you’d rather be
numb, foregoing pleasure so you don’t have to feel pain? Law of
physics of emotions: Shut one down, you shut them all down.

Or has someone else had one. There was a big blowup in Tamara’s
office first thing Monday morning. Her husband is a minister
whose job becomes mega stressful at Christmas, and it had gotten
to her, so she passed it on, yelling at someone.

Work escalates in some business, churches for instance. It’s
also where people show up who aren’t welcome, can’t afford, or
who have worn out their welcome at the offices of therapists,
psychiatrists, counselors, and even family.

And of course that’s why I manage my meltdowns. Nobody wants to
hear, can bear to hear about a dead child at Christmas time. So
I save it. I have my meltdowns at home. (However, if yours
aren’t manageable, something you will innately know, please seek
help from a mental health professional.)

THE ANATOMY OF A MELTDOWN

WHO

Who is likely to have one?

1. Any of us, any time we get too tired, too overwrought, too
hungry, too lonely, to stressed. We will focus on a certain
loss, usually, but the meltdown has to do with emotional
management.

2. Young women who feel they must put on Christmas and do it
alone. It amounts to another full-time job, the hubby doesn’t
help, resentment and fatigue build, this makes the kids act out
because emotions are contagious. It’s closed loop with a
downward trajectory.

3. Men whose wives are “out of control.” Most men would just as
soon emotional outbursts “go away,” particularly such things as
tears from their wives, and children having tantrums, either of
which can be encouraged to appear when there’s been too much
sugar, and too little sleep. Wife-beaters will find ample
self-justification when there’s over-spending, missed
appointments, their wives and kids aren’t “listening” - “lip”
from the wife, attitude” from his teen, and the baby (affected
of course) is “being a cry baby.” Of course women are not immune
from violent behavior either when there’s low emotional
intelligence (including impulse control and anger management.)
4. The vulnerable. The young, the old, the sick and the weak.
The young child whose parents have divorced since last Christmas
may start wetting the bed again, failing school, sucking his
thumb, eating too much or too little, throwing more tantrums or
refusing to speak at school. The aged widower may withdraw,
falling asleep in his chair at the dinner table, or express the
depression in agitation - being cranky and nasty. 5. The
Helpers. Therapists’, counselors’, psychiatrists’, ministers’
and rabbis’ office fill up. And your whiny little sister who’s
40, comes to your “office” calling you all day with her
problems. If you’re the Helper take care of yourself. Try a
coach, for instance. While my practice stays robust over the
holidays, coaching clients are healthy, and good copers, and
usually one focused phone call for clarity suffices.

6. The Helped. The origin of the phrase “no good deed goes
unpunished” must have originated from people with traumas or
crises who are coping as well as can be expected, but someone is
hounding them, hovering over them, trying to fix them, or
smothering them. This is particularly stressful for introverts,
who are able to heal alone. If someone’s violating boundaries,
no matter what their motivation, set yours. (Call for coaching
if you’re confused.) When my first son was born, my husband was
an intern and the first two days, all his friends came to see me
and the baby, being immune from hospital visitation rule Finally
I shut the door, put a sign on it, and got the rest I needed.
And THESE days, anyone sick enough to actually be in a hospital,
needs their rest. 7. Anyone who neglects their physical health
and immune system. When the weather gets cold, wet, or both,
viruses hover around. Our FIRST line of defense against bacteria
is our immune system. It is our ONLY line of defense against
viruses. Neutraceuticals such as DefenseBuilder or Get Well
Soon, Dietary Supplemen (scientifically proven to nutritionally
support your immune syste), plus rest, exercise, and fresh air
can help you keep your equilibrium. When we’re physically ill,
we likely to be more emotionally volatile.

WHAT

Anything can start a meltdown, because it begins with our
internal chemistry and thoughts. It’s how we react to something
external. It’s environmental - including our internal
environment, so take care of yourself with that are
pure so they don’t add to the toxins, and scientifically
proven
to nutritionally support your immune system like Arbonne products.

WHEN

Holidays. Night time. When we’re tired, or irritated (noises,
room termperature, clothing), tension of any sort - sexual,
emotional, mental, physical. After the height of emotion in the
opposite direction, because our bodies want what’s called
“homeostasis.” If you get “too happy,” expect to be “too sad”
quite soon. Therefore many of us who know emotional
intelligence, choose to stay in the middle most of the time,
because we don’t like the swings, and don’t think the “good” is
worth the “bad.” Do you?

WHY

Because all the ingredients are there this time of year that
cause emotional turmoil. Memories, thoughts, feelings,
reconnecting with people we don’t like or resent, too much to
do, guilt, shame, blame, it’s all there. Throw in parties with
liquor, sugar, and late hours, and you add another layer of
“Recipe for Meltdown.”

Also because you don’t regulate what can be regulated, such as
turning off the television, turning off the music, refusing some
parties, not exchanging gifts (but love instead), and so forth.
WHERE

Anywhere. Some people believe meltdowns should be in the privacy
of the home, with intimates, with paid professionals, or always
in private. Others believe tears are tears, and are able to
experience anger without lashing out at others, or damaging
themselves or others, but rather connecting and getting comfort
and sympathy.

If you feel yourself getting into overwhelm, stop, look and
listen. Who’s driving this train? You are. Learning
emotional intelligence allows you to understand and manage the
emotions better.

One of the goals I have for my emotional intelligence clients is
to get there (negatives states) less often and slower,
experience it lighter and shorter, get out of it faster, and get
over it quicker.

I’m sure you know what I mean!

Music can be very healing as well as disturbing. Check out Club Vivo Per Lei /
I Live for Music for beauty, enjoyment and helpful ideas;
and the Replay
Store, for gently used courses on music, philosophy and the arts
(part of emotional intelligence) taught by some of the best
teachers in the US.

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Forgive … not Seven Times, but Seventy-Seven Times

Yes, it was a difficult weekend. I had houseguests, and one of
them has truly been wronged. Not once, but many times. Not by
strangers, but by his own family. Not long ago, but long ago and
recently.

It made me angry just to hear the stories, though he told them
only as they related to the conversation at hand (“So what
happened to your father’s farm?” sort of thing), and there was
no rancor on his part. Incredulously, he appears to have made
his peace with some real injustices. But then that’s one of the
reasons we all love him so much.

My friend is very forgiving, and there’s a reason why: he’s had
a lot of practice. Forgiveness is like another EQ competency,
Resilience. The good news is you can learn it. The bad news is
there will always be opportunity. And you can reverse those two!

So, yes, my friend is very forgiving. I imagine he has forgiven
77 times. If you’re familiar with the Biblical passage: “Then
Peter came and said to him, ‘Lord, if another member of the
church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as
seven times?’ Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell
you, seventy-seven times.’”

This forgiving friend of mine is of-an-age, and also a
physician.

“How could you forgive him for that?” I asked him, about a
particularly unjust occurrence.

“Because I want to live and preserve my health,” he said.

Physicians know about emotions and health.

THE TWO WOLVES

There’s a story currently circulating the Internet about a
Native American grandfather “whose eyes have seen too much,”
talking with his grandson. The boy was talking about an
injustice that had happened that day that left him enraged.

The grandfather admitted that he, too, had felt such rage. “I
feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart,” he told the
child. “One wolf is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other
wolf is the loving, compassionate one.”

The grandfather said, “I too, at times, have felt a great hate
for those who have taken so much with no sorrow for what they
do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is
like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.”

When he finished talking, the grandson asked him, “Which wolf
will win the fight in your heart?”

“The one I feed,” replied the grandfather.

[Go here http://www.turtle-tracks.org/issue50/i50_3.html to read
the whole story]

PACO…GIOVANNI…TON…SERGEI…ED, JR…JOHANN…PIERRE … THEIR NAMES ARE
LEGION

Ernest Hemingway wrote a story about forgiveness. It’s the story
of a Spanish father and his teenage son who are at odds, and
eventually the strained relationship breaks. When Paco, the
rebellious son, runs away from home, his father begins a long,
grief-stricken search to find him and bring him back.

As a last resort, the exhausted father placed an ad in a Madrid
newspaper, hoping his son would see the ad and respond to it.
The ad read:

Dear Paco, Please meet me in front of the newspaper office at
noon. All is forgiven. Love, Father

As Hemingway tells the story, the next day at noon, in front of
the newspaper office, there are 800 Pacos, all seeking
forgiveness from their fathers.

HOW YOU PRESERVE YOUR HEALTH

We have all been wronged. I have been. You have been. Your
father has been. The queen of England has been. No one escapes.
Some of us have been egregiously wronged and live with rage …
for a week, a year, a lifetime. Our anger interferes with our
ability to forgive. And why, perhaps you are asking, should you
forgive? There has been incest … infidelity … theft … betrayal …
Certainly you’re justified in your rancor after what’s been done
to you. Frederick Buechner, theologian, writes: “Of the seven
deadly sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your
wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll
over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to
come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you
are given and the pain you are giving back – in many ways it is
a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are
wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.”

We suffer when we’re angry. It causes physiological reactions
that damage our health, and drive others away, leaving us to
fester in our own isolated hell. We also suffer because we feel
guilty about being angry. And we may feel strangled because we
can’t act on it. It’s a complicated emotion. It is, however,
neither good nor bad in and of itself. Emotions just “are.” They
guide us. They tell us what to do.

Anger tells us there is danger and we need to deal with it
directly. The problem develops when we have not learned
Emotional Intelligence and don’t know how to handle this anger.
It can live forever in its raw state if not dealt with,
undermining our health. But what if … What if the person who did
this is dead? Or estranged, like Paco from hjs father? … Or
virulently poised to do more harm? Or an apology won’t really
do, as in “I’m sorry I was drunk for the first 15 years of your
life”? Or “I’m sorry I had your father shot by a firing squad in
front of your eyes?” What if they absolutely do not deserve our
forgiveness? What do we do then? Being adamantly and
relentlessly self-forgiving is an EQ competency. At times it’s
even harder to forgive ourselves than it is to forgive others,
and we stand in need as well.

While we are all Paco, we are all, also, his father. We create
our own world, and as we refuse to forgive others, we refuse to
allow others to forgive us. What goes around comes around. Being
forgiving – forgiving yourself and others – is highly
recommended. The person you’re harboring the hatred for isn’t
likely to be affected by it, but you are which makes you twice
the victim, and more the fool. You are demanding from them
something they can’t or won’t give, and you therefore remain
tied to them forever. They don’t deserve you to forgive them,
but you deserve to forgive them. HELL

I’m reminded of Dante’s “Inferno.” In the fifth ring of hell
live “the Wrathful.” Says the commentary, “they spend their time
here either tearing at each other in anger or …” Yes, that’s
being in hell.

But even more fitting is the ninth and final circle of Hell,
Cocytus, which is ice cold (those farthest from God’s love).
There we find those who betrayed those to whom they should
forever have been faithful, those treacherous to kin, and the
image is this — two people are frozen in the same hole so that
one can gnaw at the nape of the other’s neck. An apt metaphor
for how we can gnaw at ourselves with resentment and anger.

To paraphrase Paul Pearsall, Ph.D., psychoneuroimmunologist, ‘Go
ahead and rant and rave, rage, beat your chest, fight! But to
the victor goes the bypass.’

For your own mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health,
you must learn how to let it go. Work with a coach to develop
your Emotional Intelligence. Anger directly affects our
immunological system, which is our health, and it is an ongoing
part of life for all of us. It’s the price we pay for being
human.

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5 Ways to Transform Your Struggles Into Victories

Have you read the famous quote, “Every struggle is a victory”? It was stated by an extraordinary person who overcome great challneges and achieved greatness - her name was Helen Keller.

In this brief article we will explore 5 key aspects
for turning your Struggles into Victories. These pointer’s have
been scientifically validated by Dr Paul G Stoltz in his book: “Adversity Quotient”.

1. Manage your Emotions

The first step to dealing with a challenge is to manage your
emotions. In challenging times we often feel a sense of
overwhelm, helplessness or a wide range of other emotions. We
need to manage these emotions, in order for us to be able to
think clearly about the situation.

You can manage your emotions in a few ways. You could distract
yourself until you regain your composure, you could change your
environment, do some exercise, listen to soothing music, eat hot
foods, take a nice relaxing bath or help someone else.

2. Get the Facts

What happened? What caused this situation? Which part was caused
by me, and which part was caused by others? What options exist?
How have other people in similar situations, solved similar
problems? What could I do to improve things, even if it only
makes a small difference? Information is key to making right
choices.

3. Do something to Gain at least a little Control

Do something, however small to gain at least some control over
the situation. You can ask yourself: What could I do to gain
even a little control over this situation? What little thing
could I do to influence this situation? Then do it!

4. Do something to Limit the Reach

No matter how bad a situation may appear, there is almost always
a way to limit its impact. Napolean Hill said, “In every
adversity lies the seed of equal, or even greater benefit.” Even
the worst situations, can be turned to good, all you need to do
is wonder about, how can this situation be used to my advantage?
How can I limit the reach of this situation? How can I limit how
long this situation needs to endure?

When you have these answers take decisive action. Taking action
fills you with hope and a sense that you can do something about
the situation.

5. Take it One Step at a Time

The final principle of dealing with challenges is to take it one
step at a time. Helen Keller who lost both her sight and her
hearing while still a very young child, used this principle to
great affect. She completed a university degree, learnt several
languages including classical Greek, became a world famous
author and was called, “The Greatest Woman of our Age”, by
Winston Churchill. Whilst completing her university degree and
facing almost unbelievable obstacles, she would simply continue.

She would fight one battle at a time, and slowly but surely get
through the challenge. Her life attests to the power of this
approach. In a similar way take it one day at a time, strive to
do at least one thing every day, no matter how small and you
will notice your situation change.

Conclusion

Dr Paul G Scholtz said, “Adversity fuels greatness.” As you
think about this article, you may begin to wonder how you can
apply these principles to your own life. You may wonder how you
can turn your own obstacles into victories. You may wonder what
one little thing you can do to gain some control over your
situation, and grow and develop, and do something great,
something really important, because deep down inside every
single one of us knows, that we are meant to fulfil a unique and
wonderful destiny.

Destin Lucas is an internationally-recognized writer, speaker and co-founder of Dawning Truth – a breakthrough success modeling program for dramatically accelerating your personal development. If you want to achieve greatness visit http://www.greatnesscircle.com

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What Forces Cause Eating Disorders?

The aspiration of women in many from all over the world, especially in those that are more westernized, to be thin, skinny, and slender is evident and visible in everyday life. This drive and desire is fed by the many television programs, magazines, weight loss advertisements and programs that portray an ideal figure and image that women should align themselves with and live up to. The injurious effects of this never ending talk of pounds, ounces and kilograms is clear when you hear of the world’s latest generations of girls are suffering and growing up with eating disorders.

Many different types of eating disorders exist, such as, anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, overeating, but some of the common denominators in the cause of most includes; emotional insecurity, lack of identity, low self-esteem or self-worth, the feeling/perception of ‘not being good enough’ and anxiety. The question that should be asked in relation to why such eating disorders occur, is what is creating or perpetuating the causes for these eating disorders, or for example, what is creating or perpetuating the feeling in girls that they are not good enough, enough for them to stop eating.

It can be a harmful act of power to go against ones biological need, to continually refuse food when you are hungry and your stomach is churning. However, this act of power is often all that many women and girls with eating disorders feel they have in their possession, or are able to express. The idea or behavior that starving oneself is a positive act of power, rather than a negative one is made visible in the perpetuation of eating disorders, an idea in which to affect women all across the globe in such large proportions has obviously been created by some very influential cultural forces, rather than by some individual girls own feelings. It is evident, when you observe television programs, magazines and film clips that these influential cultural forces, ones that most people in western nations are exposed to on a daily basis, project images of how women should look, feel, dress, behave and of course eat. Sex appeal and attractiveness is an intelligent and influential marketing strategy that is used to increase product and program popularity among consumers, but the messages that are being communicated to audiences must be considered.

It’s quite easy to blame individuals who suffer from eating disorders for their own problems, but what people should understand is the problem often does not lie with the individual or their life style. It often lies with the popular culture expressed through the media and what individuals are constantly exposed to. Women and young girls are being desensitised to images of unnaturaly skinny models in the media, and those images then become accepted and normalised to a standard that expresses what all women should look like to be considered attractive, harmful standards that many try and live up to in order to feel ‘normal’ and accepted in society. What many film clips, magazines, advertisements and movies fail to portray, is the complex and unique dimensions that make up a woman, and instead, concentrate on appearance and sex appeal rather than the originality of spirit.

The over simplified representation of women in the media as sexual objects or products has reduced them to conventional artefacts that exist to look beautiful, thin and sexy for the outside world to look upon. It is the dominant cultural forces of today that create and perpetuate the causes for eating disorders in women and young girls, where women are constantly being typecast into a sexual role by the media, and this is harmful to the thought patterns of viewers and consumers of all ages, because it suggests that a woman’s value lies only in her sex appeal. The average woman is not a size six or six foot tall. What people are seeing is the finished product, a creation, of what the media portrays a woman should look and behave like, rather than the image of a ‘real’, ‘everyday’ woman. The type of sexual attractiveness used in media and advertising is conveying the wrong messages to people around the world. It is casting a sexual mould for women to be set in, and conveys that a woman’s worth is valued only in her sex appeal.

These negative messages are creating insecurities, lack of identity, low self-esteem, and a feeling of ‘not being good enough’ in women right from a young age, messages that need to be challenged, ignored and changed in order to combat their power in perpetuating eating disorders around the world. Women and young girls need to be taken out of the exposure of harmful messages, and be opened up to positive, encouraging and true messages that state how women and girls are beautiful because they are beautiful, that they are good enough, because they are good enough, and that they are worth more than they could ever imagine.

This article has been supplied courtesy of Ray Darken. Ray often writes and works closely with Mental Health. If the previous link is inactive, you can paste this one into your browser - mental-health-depression.com/ This site is dedicated to supplying the latest news and articles on mental health to assist people with mental health issues and guidelines.

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Real Men, Real Depression! (Mental Health Matters)

Depression is a serious but treatable medical condition - a brain disease - that can strike anyone, including men. In America alone, over 6 million men have depression each year.

Whether you’re a company executive, a construction worker, a writer, a police officer, or a student, whether you are rich or poor, surrounded by loved ones or alone, you are not immune to depression. Some factors, however, such as family history, undue stress, the loss of a loved one or other serious illnesses can make you more vulnerable.

If left untreated, depression can lead to personal, family and financial difficulties, and, in some cases, end in suicide. With appropriate diagnosis and treatment, however, most people recover. The darkness disappears, hope for the future returns, energy and desire come back, and interest in life becomes stronger than ever

Depression can strike anyone regardless of age, ethnic background, socioeconomic status, or gender; however, large scale research studies have found that depression is about twice as common in women as in men. In the United States, researchers estimate that in any given one year period, depressive illnesses affect 12 percent of women (more than 12 million women) and nearly 7 percent of men (more than six million men).3 But important questions remain to be answered about the causes underlying this gender difference. We still do not know if depression is truly less common among men, or if men are just less likely than women to recognize, acknowledge, and seek help for depression.

Types of Depression

Just like other illnesses, such as heart disease, depression comes in different forms. This booklet briefly describes three of the most common types of depressive disorders. However, within these types, there are variations in the number of symptoms, their severity, and persistence.

Major depression (or major depressive disorder) is manifested by a combination of symptoms (see symptoms list below) that interferes with the ability to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy once pleasurable activities. A major depressive episode may occur only once; but more commonly, several episodes may occur in a lifetime. Chronic major depression may require a person to continue treatment indefinitely.

A less severe type of depression, dysthymia (or dysthymic disorder), involves long lasting, chronic symptoms that do not seriously disable, but keep one from functioning well or feeling good. Many people with dysthymia also experience major depressive episodes at some time in their lives.

Depression

Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood.

Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism.

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness.

Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyable, including sex.

Decreased energy, fatigue; feeling “slowed down.”

Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.

Trouble sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping.

Changes in appetite and/or weight.

Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.
Restlessness or irritability.

Persistent physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain that do not respond to routine treatment.

Men and Depression

Researchers estimate that at least six million men in the United States suffer from a depressive disorder every year. Research and clinical evidence reveal that while both women and men can develop the standard symptoms of depression, they often experience depression differently and may have different ways of coping with the symptoms. Men may be more willing to acknowledge fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, and sleep disturbances rather than feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and excessive guilt. Some researchers question whether the standard definition of depression and the diagnostic tests based upon it adequately capture the condition as it occurs in men.

Men are more likely than women to report alcohol and drug abuse or dependence in their lifetime;14 however, there is debate among researchers as to whether substance use is a “symptom” of underlying depression in men or a co occurring condition that more commonly develops in men. Nevertheless, substance use can mask depression, making it harder to recognize depression as a separate illness that needs treatment.

Instead of acknowledging their feelings, asking for help, or seeking appropriate treatment, men may turn to alcohol or drugs when they are depressed, or become frustrated, discouraged, angry, irritable, and, sometimes, violently abusive. Some men deal with depression by throwing themselves compulsively into their work, attempting to hide their depression from themselves, family, and friends. Other men may respond to depression by engaging in reckless behavior, taking risks, and putting themselves in harm’s way.

More than four times as many men as women die by suicide in the United States, even though women make more suicide attempts during their lives. In addition to the fact that men attempt suicide using methods that are generally more lethal than those used by women, there may be other factors that protect women against suicide death. In light of research indicating that suicide is often associated with depression, the alarming suicide rate among men may reflect the fact that men are less likely to seek treatment for depression. Many men with depression do not obtain adequate diagnosis and treatment that may be life saving.

Depression in Older Men

Men must cope with several kinds of stress as they age. If they have been the primary wage earners for their families and have identified heavily with their jobs, they may feel stress upon retirement­loss of an important role, loss of self esteem­that can lead to depression. Similarly, the loss of friends and family and the onset of other health problems can trigger depression.

Depression is not a normal part of aging. Depression is an illness that can be effectively treated, thereby decreasing unnecessary suffering, improving the chances for recovery from other illnesses, and prolonging productive life. However, health care professionals may miss depressive symptoms in older patients. Older adults may be reluctant to discuss feelings of sadness or grief, or loss of interest in pleasurable activities.

They may complain primarily of physical symptoms. It may be difficult to discern a co occurring depressive disorder in patients who present with other illnesses, such as heart disease, stroke, or cancer, which may cause depressive symptoms or may be treated with medications that have side effects that cause depression. If a depressive illness is diagnosed, treatment with appropriate medication and/or brief psychotherapy can help older adults manage both diseases, thus enhancing survival and quality of life.

Identifying and treating depression in older adults is critical. There is a common misperception that suicide rates are highest among the young, but it is older white males who suffer the highest rate. Over 70 percent of older suicide victims visit their primary care physician within the month of their death; many have a depressive illness that goes undetected during these visits. This fact has led to research efforts to determine how to best improve physicians’ abilities to detect and treat depression in older adults.

Approximately 80 percent of older adults with depression improve when they receive treatment with antidepressant medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of both. In addition, research has shown that a combination of psychotherapy and antidepressant medication is highly effective for reducing recurrences of depression among older adults. Psychotherapy alone has been shown to prolong periods of good health free from depression, and is particularly useful for older patients who cannot or will not take medication.18 Improved recognition and treatment of depression in later life will make those years more enjoyable and fulfilling for the depressed elderly person, and his family and caregivers.

A depressive disorder is not the same as a passing blue mood.

Depression can strike anyone regardless of age, ethnic background, socioeconomic status, or gender; however, large scale research studies have found that depression is about twice as common in women as in men.In the United States, researchers estimate that in any given one year period, depressive illnesses affect 12 percent of women (more than 12 million women) and nearly 7 percent of men (more than six million men) But important questions remain to be answered about the causes underlying this gender difference. We still do not know if depression is truly less common among men, or if men are just less likely than women to recognize, acknowledge, and seek help for depression.

Symptoms of Depression

Not everyone who is depressed or manic experiences every symptom. Some people experience only a few; some people suffer many. The severity of symptoms varies among individuals and also over time.

Depression

Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” mood.

Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism.

Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness.

Loss of interest or pleasure in hobbies and activities that were once enjoyable, including sex.

Decreased energy, fatigue; feeling “slowed down.”

Difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions.

Trouble sleeping, early morning awakening, or oversleeping.

Changes in appetite and/or weight.

Thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts.

Restlessness or irritability.

Persistent physical symptoms, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain that do not respond to routine treatment.

Depression can coexist with other illnesses. In such cases, it is important that the depression and each co occurring illness be appropriately diagnosed and treated.

Research has shown that anxiety disorders­which include post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive compulsive disorder, panic disorder, social phobia, and generalized anxiety disorder­commonly accompany depression. Depression is especially prevalent among people with PTSD, a debilitating condition that can develop after exposure to a terrifying event or ordeal in which grave physical harm occurred or was threatened.

Traumatic events that can trigger PTSD include violent personal assaults such as rape or mugging, natural disasters, accidents, terrorism, and military combat. PTSD symptoms include: re experiencing the traumatic event in the form of flashback episodes, memories, or nightmares; emotional numbness; sleep disturbances; irritability; outbursts of anger; intense guilt; and avoidance of any reminders or thoughts of the ordeal. In one NIMH supported study, more than 40 percent of people with PTSD also had depression when evaluated at one month and four months following the traumatic event.

Substance use disorders (abuse or dependence) also frequently co occur with depressive disorders. Research has revealed that people with alcoholism are almost twice as likely as those without alcoholism to also suffer from major depression. In addition, more than half of people with bipolar disorder type I (with severe mania) have a co occurring substance use disorder.

Men and Depression

Researchers estimate that at least six million men in the United States suffer from a depressive disorder every year. Research and clinical evidence reveal that while both women and men can develop the standard symptoms of depression, they often experience depression differently and may have different ways of coping with the symptoms. Men may be more willing to acknowledge fatigue, irritability, loss of interest in work or hobbies, and sleep disturbances rather than feelings of sadness, worthlessness, and excessive guilt. Some researchers question whether the standard definition of depression and the diagnostic tests based upon it adequately capture the condition as it occurs in men.

Men are more likely than women to report alcohol and drug abuse or dependence in their lifetime; however, there is debate among researchers as to whether substance use is a “symptom” of underlying depression in men or a co occurring condition that more commonly develops in men. Nevertheless, substance use can mask depression, making it harder to recognize depression as a separate illness that needs treatment.

Instead of acknowledging their feelings, asking for help, or seeking appropriate treatment, men may turn to alcohol or drugs when they are depressed, or become frustrated, discouraged, angry, irritable, and, sometimes, violently abusive. Some men deal with depression by throwing themselves compulsively into their work, attempting to hide their depression from themselves, family, and friends. Other men may respond to depression by engaging in reckless behavior, taking risks, and putting themselves in harm’s way.

More than four times as many men as women die by suicide in the United States, even though women make more suicide attempts during their lives. In addition to the fact that men attempt suicide using methods that are generally more lethal than those used by women, there may be other factors that protect women against suicide death. In light of research indicating that suicide is often associated with depression,17 the alarming suicide rate among men may reflect the fact that men are less likely to seek treatment for depression. Many men with depression do not obtain adequate diagnosis and treatment that may be life saving.

More research is needed to understand all aspects of depression in men, including how men respond to stress and feelings associated with depression, how to make men more comfortable acknowledging these feelings and getting the help they need, and how to train physicians to better recognize and treat depression in men. Family members, friends, and employee assistance professionals in the workplace also can play important roles in recognizing depressive symptoms in men and helping them get treatment.

The first step to getting appropriate treatment for depression is a physical examination by a physician. Certain medications as well as some medical conditions such as a viral infection, thyroid disorder, or low testosterone level can cause the same symptoms as depression, and the physician should rule out these possibilities through examination, interview, and lab tests. If no such cause of the depressive symptoms is found, the physician should do a psychological evaluation or refer the patient to a mental health professional.

A good diagnostic evaluation will include a complete history of symptoms: i.e., when they started, how long they have lasted, their severity, and whether the patient had them before and, if so, if the symptoms were treated and what treatment was given. The doctor should ask about alcohol and drug use, and if the patient has thoughts about death or suicide. Further, a history should include questions about whether other family members have had a depressive illness and, if treated, what treatments they may have received and if they were effective. Last, a diagnostic evaluation should include a mental status examination to determine if speech, thought patterns, or memory has been affected, as sometimes happens with depressive disorders.

Treatment choice will depend on the patient’s diagnosis, severity of symptoms, and preference. There are a variety of treatments, including medications and short term psychotherapies (i.e., “talk” therapies), that have proven effective for depressive disorders. In general, severe depressive illnesses, particularly those that are recurrent, will require a combination of treatments for the best outcome.

Alcohol­ including wine, beer, and hard liquor­or street drugs may reduce the effectiveness of antidepressants and should be avoided. However, doctors may permit people who have not had a problem with alcohol abuse or dependence to use a modest amount of alcohol while taking one of the newer antidepressants.

Questions about any medication prescribed, or problems that may be related to it, should be discussed with your doctor.

How to Help Yourself if You Are Depressed

Depressive disorders can make one feel exhausted, worthless, helpless, and hopeless. It is important to realize that these negative views are part of the depression and do not accurately reflect the actual circumstances. Negative thinking fades as treatment begins to take effect. In the meantime: Engage in mild exercise. Go to a movie, a ballgame, or participate in religious, social, or other activities.
Set realistic goals and assume a reasonable amount of responsibility.

Break large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.

Try to be with other people and to confide in someone; it is usually better than being alone and secretive.
Participate in activities that may make you feel better.
Expect your mood to improve gradually, not immediately. Feeling better takes time. Often during treatment of depression, sleep and appetite will begin to improve before depressed mood lifts.

Postpone important decisions. Before deciding to make a significant transition–change jobs, get married or divorced–discuss it with others who know you well and have a more objective view of your situation.

Do not expect to ‘snap out of’ a depression. But do expect to feel a little better day by day.

Remember, positive thinking will replace the negative thinking as your depression responds to treatment.
Let your family and friends help you.

How Family and Friends Can Help

The most important thing anyone can do for a man who may have depression is to help him get to a doctor for a diagnostic evaluation and treatment. First, try to talk to him about depression­help him understand that depression is a common illness among men and is nothing to be ashamed about. Perhaps share this booklet with him. Then encourage him to see a doctor to determine the cause of his symptoms and obtain appropriate treatment.

Occasionally, you may need to make an appointment for the depressed person and accompany him to the doctor. Once he is in treatment, you may continue to help by encouraging him to stay with treatment until symptoms begin to lift (several weeks) or to seek different treatment if no improvement occurs. This may also mean monitoring whether he is taking prescribed medication and/or attending therapy sessions. Encourage him to be honest with the doctor about his use of alcohol and prescription or recreational drugs, and to follow the doctor’s orders about the use of these substances while on antidepressant medication.

The second most important thing is to offer emotional support to the depressed person. This involves understanding, patience, affection, and encouragement. Engage him in conversation and listen carefully. Do not disparage the feelings he may express, but point out realities and offer hope. Do not ignore remarks about suicide. Report them to the depressed person’s doctor. In an emergency, call 911. Invite him for walks, outings, to the movies, and other activities. Be gently insistent if your invitation is refused. Encourage participation in some activities that once gave pleasure, such as hobbies, sports, religious or cultural activities, but do not push him to undertake too much too soon. The depressed person needs diversion and company, but too many demands can increase feelings of failure.

Listed below are the types of people and places that will make a referral to, or provide, diagnostic and treatment services.

Family doctors

Mental health specialists, such as psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, or mental health counselors
Religious leaders/counselors

Health maintenance organizations

Community mental health centers

Hospital psychiatry departments and outpatient clinics

University or medical school affiliated programs

State hospital outpatient clinics

Social service agencies

Private clinics and facilities

Employee assistance programs

Local medical and/or psychiatric societies

Conclusion

A man can experience depression in many different ways. He may be grumpy or irritable, or have lost his sense of humor. He might drink too much or abuse drugs. It may be that he physically or verbally abuses his wife and his kids. He might work all the time, or compulsively seek thrills in high risk behavior. Or, he may seem isolated, withdrawn, and no longer interested in the people or activities he used to enjoy.

Perhaps this man sounds like you. If so, it is important to understand that there is a brain disorder called depression that may be underlying these feelings and behaviors. It’s real: scientists have developed sensitive imaging devices that enable us to see depression in the brain. And it’s treatable: more than 80 percent of those suffering from depression respond to existing treatments, and new ones are continually becoming available and helping more people. Talk to a healthcare provider about how you are feeling, and ask for help.

Or perhaps this man sound like someone you care about. Try to talk to him, or to someone who has a chance of getting through to him. Help him to understand that depression is a common illness among men and is nothing to be ashamed about. Encourage him to see a doctor and get an evaluation for depression.

For most men with depression, life doesn’t have to be so dark and hopeless. Life is hard enough as it is; and treating depression can free up vital resources to cope with life’s challenges effectively. When a man is depressed, he’s not the only one who suffers. His depression also darkens the lives of his family, his friends, virtually everyone close to him. Getting him into treatment can send ripples of healing and hope into all of those lives.

Depression is a real illness; it is treatable; and men can have it. It takes courage to ask for help, but help can make all the difference.

Please know that you may share this article with anyone you want, family, friends, associates and anyone you feel this may help, please just leave the footer inact, thanks:)

Leading Psychiatrists are calling Arthur a ‘walking miracle’-After 15 years in mental institutions, absorbing inhumane shock treatments, abusing alcohol, he’s now being called worldwide’ The Zig Ziglar of Mental Illness ‘Read about his amazing comeback and what #1 best-selling author Mike Litman has called The Most Inspirational Book of 2002′ Out of Darkness - One Man’s Journey From The Depths Of Mental Illness to Pure Joy

Listen to Arthur Buchanan on the Mike Litman Show!

http://www.freesuccessaudios.com/Artlive.mp3

THIS LINK WORKS, LISTEN TODAY!

With Much Love,

Arthur Buchanan

President/CEO

Out of Darkness & Into the Light

43 Oakwood Ave. Suite 1012

Huron Ohio, 44839

http://www.out-of-darkness.com

567-219-0994 (cell)

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You Can Deal With Your Depression

Depression is a common worldwide problem affecting people of all ages, races and every social and economic level. Each year over 100 million people worldwide suffer from severe depression. In fact, it is so widespread that it has been labeled ‘The Common Cold of Mental Illness.’

Despite being so widespread, depression is also one of the most treatable illnesses out there.

If you want to deal with your depression and fight it, you have to first:

* Analyze the reasons for your condition.

Truly examine your inner feelings and motives. Quit mentally beating yourself up for feeling the way you do and try to concentrate on getting well.

Ask yourself if things are really ‘all that bad’ and if the circumstances warrant your depressed feelings. If your depressed mood lingers, it’s a good idea to:

* Visit your Doctor

Many times depression can have a physical cause, so your doctor can check to see if you have some sort of metabolic disturbance. He can also check for anemia, low blood sugar, diabetes, mononucleosis, or some other illness that could be contributing to weakness and discouragement.

If your situation is extreme and persists, you may want to have the disorder treated by a professional who specializes in depression so he can see how much of your depression lies in your own mental attitude and see what influence in you life brings about that ‘down’ feeling.

Depression is not in itself proof of mental weakness so don’t keep silent because of embarrassment. The most important thing you can do to fight your disorder is:

* Talk to someone about it.

No one can know how you feel unless you open up and talk about it. Just getting it off your chest can bring relief. By confiding in someone who is empathetic and can help, many times you find that you are not alone and that others have gone through the same thing. They can even help you by telling you how they dealt with it. So talking to an understanding person many times can help you to deal with your depression, so try not to bottle up all those troubling emotions which will only make your depression worse.

Another way to deal with your depression is to:

* Build your self esteem and recognize how valuable you really are.

There’s a saying that goes:
‘To the world, you may be one person;
But to one person, you may be the world.’

That saying is so true!

Many times those who suffer from depression experience feelings of worthlessness. Many of them had an unhappy childhood filled with abuse, whether it was physical, emotional or even sexual. Because of their troubled past, many are left with severe emotional scars. The important thing to remember is that none of the emotional scars change a person’s worth. So when we’re feeling worthless, just keeping in mind the saying above. More importantly, always remember that all of us are valuable in God’s eyes.

Remember, God is our loving creator. He cares for us and will give us the strength needed to endure our emotional pain. Even if we’ve been fighting depression and putting forth an honest effort to overcome it, we should never give up and think we’d be better off dead. Suicide is NEVER the answer. No situation is hopeless.

* Never stop praying

God’s Word the Bible tells us to ‘throw our burdens on the Lord and he himself will sustain us.’ (Psalms 55:22.) So never stop praying and asking God for help. His word tells us that he will give us ‘the power beyond what is normal’ (2 Cor. 4:7b.) so that we can endure our emotional pain.

It should also bring us comfort knowing that God has promised that our depression will not last forever. He promises that ‘death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore’ (Rev. 21:3, 4). What a comforting thought!

In conclusion, no matter how long you’ve been suffering and no matter what your problem is, I hope, with this article, I’ve been able to provide you with helpful and comforting information so that You Can Deal With Your Depression.

To Your Health,

Anna

Anna Allen - EzineArticles Expert Author

For more information on depression visit Anna’s Depression Website at: http://www.depressionadviceonline.com/index.html or visit her Depression Blog which contains helpful articles that are updated daily: http://depressionadviceonline.blogspot.com/.

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Death and How it Affects the Living

When we talk about life and death it is necessary for us to question who and what we are? What life is all about and how we interact with each other?

Life is something very subtle within the body. It is the life force, which holds all the different parts of the body together and gives purpose and direction to life. Yet the experience of life is one of being the observer to what is happening in our environment and our body.

We know that we are not the physical body because every cell in the body changes every 7 years, yet the personality within the body stays the same from a small baby to a teenager to an adult.

We are spiritual in nature, you could say the Self is an Angel, who looks through the body and sees and senses the world around us through this vehicle we call our body. I would even go as far as to say that I believe the Angel within the Soul of the person was never born and therefore can never die.

From physics’ point of view I would say the Self is unmanifest, like the vacuum state in quantum physics, which is an eternal continuum - never changing, always the same. That this unmanifest state is connected to the whole universe but at the same time takes on a local quality, which forms the soul of the person. By “Soul” I don’t mean anything separate from the person; it is just a way of talking about them that denotes that they are eternal.

I like to use the analogy of the air in the room. Each room has a different smell to it and different qualities in the air, yet there is no point where the air in one room ends and the air of the next room start: they are joined, yet different.

What I am basically saying is that the soul of the person was never born, i.e. never became manifest in physical form, and therefore can never die. It always was a part of the eternal continuum of life that underlies this physical world and the body which it was looking through, while we refer to the body in normal terms as alive.

So if you have managed to follow my thought this far you can see that the soul of the person is a part of the eternal continuum and after shedding this body may choose to step into the next body and start a new life over again.

As regards the living relatives left behind after a loved one has shed the body. I feel it is up to each one of us to see and react to this event however we choose. There is no right or wrong way to react to the death of a loved one.

All I would like to say on the subject is that the deceased are only a thought away. You may have had the experience of telepathy with a close loved one while they are alive. You may even have had the feeling of their loss, before you were told at what time the death did occur. All I am saying is that we are connected to the ones we love on a soul level and we can communicate with them on a soul level.

I would also like to say it is not what happens in our life or what happens to our loved ones that makes the difference. It is how we react to what happens in our life, which makes all the difference in the world. Each one of us is in control of our reaction: we have the choice to think any thought in any moment.

Therefore you may want to question how you are reacting to the death of a close loved one and see if it is serving you? Is it making any difference to the person who has died? Or would a loving thought felt deep in the heart and sent out to that person have a more constructive effect?

If you allow yourself to connect to the person who has died and send them loving thoughts, you may find that you get a feeling back of that person coming around you. You may feel them as an Angel around you and helping to comfort you in this time of mourning.

Therefore please let go of all the mystery of death, as there is no such thing, only the taking on of a body and then shedding it, which does not affect the dweller within the body one bit, as they stay in the eternal continuum of life all the time.

Please question your belief system around this subject. As some religions celebrate death, like the spiritualists, who have a great belief in the survival of life after death.

Lots of souls are choosing to leave the body at this time. Their work in this lifetime is finished for now but life goes on and they will be back in a new role and in a new dimension to carry on discovering and learning more about life and living and the evolutionary process of ascension.

George Lockett - EzineArticles Expert Author

Message channelled by George Lockett (C) Copyright 2005, All Rights Reserved. Read HealerGeorge’s Blog: Journey into the Self
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Coping with Angry People

I often work as a professional coach to executives, physicians, lawyers and others. One of the issues that frequently comes up in coaching is how best to cope with angry bosses, coworkers,or clients who suddenly or repeatedly appear. Skill in dealing with such people is no small matter – depending on our skillfulness,encountering and angry person can be a minor bump in the road or can upset us for the rest of the day. If we lose our balance, not only is it much less pleasant to be inside our own skins, but our effectiveness at completing tasks and communicating with others can be substantially diminished. The good news is that there are a few easily remembered steps that anyone can make use of with a little practice and powerful results.

When beginning to deal with an angry person,the first step is always to listen. This is done with eye contact, but very few words, until the initial wave of angry energy pauses for the first time. During that interval, listen for the factual content of what that person thinks is their concern, while letting the emotional content wash by without “hooking” you. Don’t put much effort into sharing information at this point. The person who is very angry is not in a state where they can absorb much of anything you have to say, even if they would benefit from hearing it. They may often misinterpret your quick verbal response or problem-solving as a way of getting rid of them and their needs.

A great metaphor to hold in mind as you listen during this first
step is that of a great ocean wave crashing over you as you stand in the surf, or perhaps a volcano erupting with hot rock and ash. There is no point in trying to shout over the noise until the initial outburst is complete, or become upset that this event is
all about you, even if the angry person would have you believe that at the time.

When the pause in their verbal torrent finally comes, briefly mirror the factual content with the goal of letting the other person know that you’ve heard the core of their complaint accurately. This can sound something like: “So if I heard you correctly, you’re saying …”or “What I hear you saying is this …”, but you should always use your own judgment in choosing language that sounds natural to each situation. Even better, the mirroring statement can be preceded by first asking permission to confirm
you heard, and/or a finishing question asking if your understanding is accurate. This might sound something like: “Can I make sure I heard you correctly?” Rest assured
that the answer to this question will always be “yes”. This person wants to be heard! Understand that you are teaching two concepts to the angry person at this point: that you have heard the essence of their statement, and that you have not moved into anger yourself. You have remained sane in the presence of their unbalanced state, and are not becoming their enemy.

There is magic built into what you have just accomplished in justa minute or so of time and a few simple words. You have managed to share with someone who is feeling attacked and vulnerable (and who is barely able to listen to anyone) that not
only are you not angry in response to their anger, but that you have actually understood what they are upset about accurately.

Furthermore, if you asked and were given permission to make a mirroring statement to prove you heard them correctly,
you have already made and kept a successful contract with them, giving you credibility in their mind. You now established a relationship that has value to the person that is angry. Very likely they have aired their grievances with individuals
before you who did not listen well or became angry in return, and who did their best to pass the buck of dealing with the angry person. With just this first step, you are shifting the mental image the angry person holds of you from being the enemy like all
the rest to a becoming an ally in getting their needs met. There is still work to do, but in one move you have done the biggest part of defusing the interaction.

Timothy Dey, M.D. is a speaker and educator who makes a unique combination of educational assets and life experiences available to people through his coaching, consulting, teaching, writing, and workshops. He is a graduate of the Wayne State University School of Medicine, a certified comprehensive coach, and adjunct professor in multiple fields. He creates courses and teaches for online colleges in the areas of leadership, communication, corporate culture, and stress-management skills, as well as pharmacology and other health-related topics.

Dr. Dey works extensively with hospital systems, residency programs, attending physicians, and executives seeking expert guidance in interpersonal communication skills, physician-patient relationships, and executive goal-oriented coaching. As co-founder of The Dey Group, Inc., he is available through his website http://www.deygroup.com, e-mail at dr.dey@deygroup.com or by phone at 313-383-0582, and welcomes all contacts.

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